So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
