i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
so much tequila, so little girl.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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