i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
