On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
