Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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