last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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