Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
