Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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