Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
