i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
