I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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