he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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