he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
