Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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