Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
