Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
