We named our party play list daddy issues
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
