I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
