Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
