So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
