hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
