We're facebook friends in real life
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
