I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
