yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Naked Twister starts at high noon
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
