well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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