I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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