btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
