Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
