You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
