Girls should come with a carfax report
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
