YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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