what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
