okay pat passed out under dana's car
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
