Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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