You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
