Your face is a jimmy john
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
there is glitter all over my balls
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
