We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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