how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
