Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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