office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
