I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Randomize
