So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
