Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
