Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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