did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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