you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
