This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
