Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Randomize
