Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
So many bounce houses so little time
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
this is an emotional support booty call
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
