Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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