my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I had to cum in my sink.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
