So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
