I can't watch pbs sober anymore
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
