Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I want to have your abortion
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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